My leave is coming to a end and I only have a month left with Lorenzo and I definitely have conflicting thoughts about it.
I have so many mixed emotions about what is about to come, I thought Lorenzo would be starting at my work when I start back but plans have changed and I’ve had to look for people to look after my son and have even been considering getting a nanny until he begins daycare at my work.
Although I look forward to getting back into work as it’s still a job I’m very passionate about I do worry about how this will effect my relationship with my son.
I see that with his dad he still very much loves him but if something happens or he is unconscionable I’m the one that can calm him down easier and I think this is because I spend 24 hours a day with him and Hayden does not. I worry that he will notice that I’m no longer spending 24 hours a day with him and not even 12 hours probably only 8 if I’m lucky with my shifts?
I worry that I’ll be more tired trying to juggle work, Lorenzo, household chores and time for myself.
And how will this all effect Lorenzo. I worry if I’m making the right choice for my family and my son. But at the same time I know life needs to return as normal and that this is just the way it is, Routine will be different, Lorenzo’s routine will change and so will mine and we will just have to make it work.
I guess all my questions replaying in my head are quilt about leaving my son all day and spending my days with other people’s children and not my own.
When does the mum guilt end? How do women go through all these hormonal changes because I’m struggling