when Lorenzo turned one so did those little tantrums, at first I really struggled with how to cope and what to do. which some might find funny because I am a educator and I should know what to do. but the saying goes ” when it’s your own child” things are so very different.
At first hubby and I didn’t know who to handle the tantrums and I guess just let Lorenzo figure it out on his own, this worked for a little while but we slowly learnt that we are the parents, we are the ones in control and we are the ones that make the rules not our toddler. with all this being said these are just some of the things we do to help avoid tantrums and how we deal with his tantrums.
firstly how we plan ahead with tantrums.
- When we know we have a big day out and about, we plan ahead of time. we pack snacks ” because most of enzo’s tantrums are for food or sleep.” and we always try to leave after his nap time or make it home before his nap.
- every morning when I get lorenzo out of bed and begin changing his nappy, I always tell him what the day’s plan is. for example of daycare days I always talk about how he will see his teachers ” I name all of them by name.” and I tell him what he might get up to activity wise.
- I always give a five minute warning. I have found this very effective at work with the children and so I have taken this home as well. for example before bed time I always say “ok in five mintues we will read a book and go to bed.” or when he wakes at night ” when sick.” I bring him to our bed but always say “ok five more mins” then I take him back to his cot.
How I control Lorenzo’s tantrums.
When we are out and about and lorenzo decides he will have a full blown tantrum at the shops, this is how I control them.
- I don’t bring a dummy out anymore, I found that he would have a tantrum because he knew it would give him his dummy back. so now his dummy is only for sleep and he knows this. ( we always say goodbye to his dummy as we leave the cot.)
- I let lorenzo have that independence and freedom, hubby and I found that he just is at that age where he wants to do everything for himself. so as much as it kills me with mess during feeding times, he now feeds himself and can hold his own spoon and forks well. and because we gave him a little bit more freedom we noticed he walked within that week.
- Routine is key in my household! lorenzo is a very routine child and always has been so I find staying on routine makes for a smoother day ahead. the days we don’t stay with routine are the really hard days. he has to have dinner, bath, play, book and bed every night and if he misses just one little thing its the end of the world.
what I do when the tantrums kick in.
- saying “No” makes it worst, I find the word no good in some areas but not all, when enzo is having a tantrum for example the other day he had a tantrum because I shut the bathroom door so he couldn’t get in and make a mess, insted of saying “No you can’t do in their.” I said ” Lorenzo it’s not very safe so I shut the door.” and I walked away.
- staying calm is so important.
- sometimes lorenzo gets so worked up all his needs is a cuddle to calm down
- sometimes I walk away, if Ive tried all of the above and my son is still screaming that’s when I walk away from him and he always stops because that wasn’t the reaction he wanted to get.
- I am always firm.
I’m a very strong believer in positive parenting and to help shape my child into being a well rounded well mannered little boy. I always ignore bad behaviour, use praise and rewards, being consistent and following through with what I say I will do.
What we are working on with Lorenzo at the moment:
- Ignoring his bad behaviour
- parsing when he using his manners and shares his toys.
- only having a dummy when it is rest time and staying firm with this.
- having a routine for the nights and morning
- one on one time with no phones, tv and just us playing with our son. ( he do this before dinner for a hour.)