Adding a child into any relationship is obviously going to be hard work. But trying to keep that spark going is sometimes even harder, when Lorenzo was still a baby hubby and I struggled with allowing time for us and also ourselves, now Lorenzo is a toddler and we have had 14 months with trail and error hubby and I finally feel like we have our crap together.
For hubby in the beginning stages of parenthood he really struggled with bonding and opening himself up to be a good dad, I guess he found it hard to find time when our son was mostly attached to my hip at the very beginning because I was the person Lorenzo needed most.
I interpreted this completely differently and used to be so high strung and frustrated at hubby because I just thought he didn’t care and with our lack of communication at the beginning we both had misread each other.
So my first piece of advice that Hayden and I definitely implement now is communication, even when we don’t want to we always ask each other how our days are going, if we are ok and if one of us is upset at each other we do speak up and let it out even if sometimes it’s probably not the right time.
We share our load. This means we both are equals in marriage and with parenting. We have spilt everything 50/50.
If one person cooks the other cleans. I do the house work on the inside and hubby does outside, I do laundry and he does the bins. Every night whoever cooks the other person is on bath duty with enzo, we both put him to bed together every single night, I sleep in on Saturdays and hubby wakes early with Lorenzo and on Sunday I wake early and hubby sleeps in when out at restaurants for dinner one person eats first well one person is with Lorenzo and then we change over.
We found this has helped our overall experience being parents and our marriage has become stronger. Before we had this system it used to be us fighting over how one of us is always doing more when in reality we both were doing the same amount.
Before Lorenzo we used to go out every Friday on dates.. we stopped going on dates when Lorenzo was born, we have only really started going on dates more regularly now that we have a plan. We go on a date night or day once a month, also once a month we both have a day off “parent day off.” For example if it’s my turn hubby stays home on daddy duties and I go out for an hour to get my hair or nails or just lunch with a friend. Again we found this has really helped out with us in such a big way and I’ve even found it’s making us better parents to our son because we are taking time out for ourselves which is return means we are less likely to lose our crap at enzo for no reason or yell.
for us all of this really helps and has brought our family closer then ever. Would love to here your thoughts 💭
Mummy shark 😘