The newborn stage went way too fast for me and i spent so much time regretting not enjoying those moments as much as I should of.
I spent so much time wondering and hoping with Lorenzo was going to start walking, talking, sleeping better and feeding and I forgot to sit and see all the little milestones I was making with my baby boy.
I did unfortunately stuffer from postpartum depression, which I don’t know if I ever have really touched on not because I don’t want to but because it took until my son was 12 months to realise I needed help. I am currently working on a blog all about me it’s coming soon.
But yes I didn’t enjoy the newborn stage and that’s ok. I’ve currently had my eyes opened in the sense of I could sit here and cry about it and let it get me down and not enjoy the toddler stage or I can move on and enjoy having a toddler in my life.
I have been seeing a counsellor for a few months now about twice a month and it has changed how I see so many things.
The main event I’ve learnt is how to be more present in my family time. One day I spoke to her and I was like ” how do these mothers do it!” Working full time, motherhood, being a wife and then still having time for yourself. I was struggling which in return saw hubby and I fighting a lot which is something we haven’t done in a while!
So the first goal was to be more intentional with my time. Being a full time educator working with min 23 kids a day and then coming home every night and doing the whole mum routine was hard at first. But now I’m very intentional with how I spend my time and what I choose to do with it.
My car rides home with my baby boy I always ask how his day was and although he can’t use big words just yet he does respond. I tell him I love him all the time, when we get home I spend 20 minutes with no phone and tv right before our night routine kicks in sitting on the floor just playing with him and his toys or watching and being 100% present in everything that he does.
When it’s bath time I’m also very involved and I love the time I get to sit and watch him play with his bath toys or I play some wiggles music and we both love to dance.
Story time is between daddy and son and that’s my hubbies time to have one on one.
With all this I guess the question I’ve been asked is how do I stay so calm if I’m spending most of my time with my family.
One massive parenting tip that I’ve learnt to put my mum guilt a side was ” too be present & intentional.” You have to take care of you.
For example if I don’t make time for myself and begin to get very frustrated I would take it out on my son and husband.
I find that I’m a better parent and wife when I can have a break. I chose to go grocery shopping by myself for me this is my alone time, I get to listen to my music in the car, I get to enjoy food shopping and not be rushed.
Hubby and I also do date night once a month. We make time to be present with each other which also makes us stronger together as parents.
It’s taken me a year to understand motherhood and that it’s different for every mother. I used to look at people around me with kids and ask myself why is it not like this for me. Why do they enjoy the baby stage more and I didn’t!?
I used to think about it all wrong and I know that wasn’t me talking that was my inner demons getting the best of me.
I definitely know I will enjoy the newborn stage for our next child but for right now I’m enjoying ever bit of my toddler stage with my little one.
Also to all mothers out there we are all doing a amazing job, and we are doing so well!