Being a first time parent I used to worry about how people saw me as a mother and because I am 25 I’m a young mum which in the mother community that’s cause for judgment 50% of the time.
Being a educator also hasn’t helped as I sometimes feel the pressure is higher for people to be like ” oh why does she do that with her child, she should definitely know better.”
But as the months went on and Lorenzo got older and definitely a lot more challenging my “please other people” attitude changed and I soon learnt that there not the ones parenting my son I am.
They don’t know my child what he liked & dislikes.
They don’t know what to do when he wakes at night
They don’t know what foods he liked & dislikes
They don’t the feeling of only getting maybe five hours of sleep but you still have to work a full eight hour day and then go home and do it all over again.
They don’t how to tame a tantrum when in public.
Every child is different and what works for others might not work for me. So who am I to judge other parents as them judge me.
Recently Lorenzo and I went to the shops and I was by myself and he’s at that age where he wants to walk and not be confined to his pram but of course if I let him run free I would lose him because the shopping mall is packed 24/7.
So my son decided to have a full blown tantrum in the middle of Kmart. I gave him everything I tried his dummy he kicked that away, I have endless supplies of toys he would throw them, I even tried food but all he wanted was to walk but I only had two pare of eyes as I was alone and if his dad was with me it would be a different story.
I had to go pay for some items and I had everyone begin to look I got those ” I feel for her looks” mixed with those “she can’t control her child” looks. I wanted to cry and run to the car I then began to “shh” my child which I look back on a feel horrible that I was that embarrassed I had to shh my child…
finally I gave up and I put the wiggles on my phone and let him have it and you know what I didn’t care what people would say because when your alone at the shops in that moment when they finally calm down and you have free hands to pay for the items it’s like you want to kiss the floor.
And yes I used to be that parent that said I wouldn’t buy my child a iPad or have them so attached to technology but then I had a toddler and I’m strongly thinking about buying him a iPad for times in need.
I know there is this big stigma around technology and young children and I used to say if my parents could raise me without it my son doesn’t need it. But it’s not the case anymore.
In this day and are technology is brought into classrooms as young as kindergarten age. Technology is proving more and more beneficial for children with visual impairments, autism, disabilities and more But I’m getting of topic.
My point is that although I still believe a limit on the amount of technology is good I don’t disagree with using it in my parenting style anymore and I stopped caring what others thought about it too.
My child is healthy
My child is happy
My child has clothes and shoes on his feet
My child has a loving family
My child still loves playing outside
My child uses his manners
My child is kind
And this is all that matters and I shouldn’t waste my time worrying about what others think about how i am a good mother to my child because he’s love and affection is all the reassurance I need.
We are all doing great at parenting and as the saying is