I’ve hit a brick wall. At first we thought Lorenzo’s little tantrums and cries were because he was trying to tell us something or maybe something was going on and he was in pain.
Fast forward a couple a weeks and he just is getting bad.. he is the kid that takes toys of other friends at daycare, he used to bite his friends I soon showed him what it was like to be bitten and that thankfully stopped. And no I don’t think that’s a sign of abuse when it’s only one time to be shown that it’s not nice.
Now I have a full blown toddler trying to test my buttons and see what he can and can’t get away with. Which is fine! I’m all for exploring but when I have to tell him over and over again not to play with the dam tv cords and he just looks and smiles at you or will just stand there thinking he’s hiding. To me this is a sign that a simple “NO” is clearly not working.
I’ve tried talking to him and telling him why we don’t touch things. For example our heater I caught him going for it one day and just yelled the word “NO it’s hot” and now he doesn’t touch it. But I think my neighbors are tired of hearing my voice on repeat!
So I did what any logical parent does and turned to google for parenting advice… and all I got was a bunch of what I imagine in a calm voice ” just try and change your child’s focus onto something else to maximums tantrums.” Ok Jenny I’ll just go up to my son next time he tries to touch the heater and in a calm voice ” look at that” well pointing at something totally random in my house that will probably work for two seconds before he tries to touch the heater again..
but after lots of internet soul searching for this about to have a break down mum I finally found a page that I found interesting.
The page is by ask Dr Sears
It was almost relatable and made me interested to see if it will work or not. For example Lorenzo’s biggest and new thing is slapping people in the face and being rough with our family dog zues. In the article it talks about guiding their little hands. Instead of saying no when you don’t want your child to touch something they said encourage the word “no touch” and for being gentle they encourage parents to use the words “soft touch.”
When I had a read of this at first I didn’t think something so simple would work but we have only been using these simple words for a few days and already I see a slight difference. And we have remained consistent and on top of it and he still has tried to touch the heater etc but definitely has stopped as soon as we say “ahh it’s hot to touch”
The next method that I found interesting was the “go” method and almost making them forget about how they were just about to have a tantrum. This definitely has worked and became a fun new game Lorenzo loves to just randomly play now so I don’t know if it’s worked too well and backfired but we still have been doing it. With Lorenzo we did see that he has responded better when I count down to 3 then say ready steady go!
I’m really struggling as a parent to find that happy balance of trying to use discipline but also understanding that my son is also still only one and what he is trying to tell me or is he just trying to see what he can and can’t do.
So although I’ve had a good google search I definitely haven’t taken these as I have to do them 100% it’s more of I’ll give it a go theirs no harm in trying. At the end of the day I’m still a “fresh” mum and still learning as I hit all these new stages and milestones with my son.
I would love to here stories on what’s worked for you and your children and what hasn’t? I’m always loving hearing everyone else’s stories as well because I know I’m not the first parent to hit this road block and I know I won’t be the last.
Not just a regular mum 💌