Beyond behaviours

So everyone knows I’m a podcast lover and not even going to lie when I have difficulties in parenting my toddler or feel as if I’m failing him, I turn to parenting podcasts. I guess you could say it’s how I deal with my mummy frustration or something to turn too when I’m crying after picking my child up from daycare fully aware of how his behaviour was that day.

No one’s a perfect parent and sometimes we have our moments.. this past month God has definitely tested me and also my child has tested me!? I felt like I have been losing control of this whole motherhood gig and that it was showing with how my son was treating others and hubby & I.

I looked at podcast after podcast and then I finally found one that it felt like it was honestly speaking to only me. The title of the podcast was “how to look beyond behaviours.” Which was exactly what I needed right in that moment. The voice behind the mic is dr robyn who is children’s specialist, parenting coach and mum of two. Just by her bio you can see why I was already hooked!

In the beginning of the podcast I was listening to she dives straight into tantrums and defines what they are and talks about an example of having one when out shopping with your child. The funny thing about this is my son that morning had a full blown tantrum at our local shopping centre and it got a few people watching and I hate to admit this but it does get me a tad inbraced.

When talking about tantrums she kept referencing it by a “bottom up.” Which she also said tantrums such like one Lorenzo had a the shops was not at all intental he didn’t set out to have a break down he simply was stressed and cannot communicate what he really needs. Sometimes at the mother and in the heat of the moment of those tantrums or “bottoms up.” You do forgot the underlying issues and just focus on the moment and what others would think.

The one big thing that I guess struct a cord with me and made me wake up a little bit was that why do parents feel the need to see a tantrum as something we have to give disapline too straight away. When in those moments it’s actually making the situation harder for us and more stressful for our children. Look when my son has tantrums hubby and I go straight to the ” well we need to nip this in the bum right now.” And I guess that just shows how we were brought up by our families and that we need to take a step back, and realise it’s a whole new ball park in parnting in today’s society and just because it worked out parents doesn’t mean it will work for us. When to use compassion and when to use logical responses and learning the difference between bottoms up and bottoms down.

This podcast was overloaded with helpful knowledge that has not only helped me as a mum but has shown me I’ve been dealing with my son’s tantrums a little wrong and that I need to rethink how to handle those moments.

The next few days had pasted and my son had a tantrum, instead of dealing with it the way I would normally I chose to stay calm and look at the bigger picture which in that moment was my son had just woken up from his nap and was confused and still waking up we again we’re out in public and he was crying and was getting louder and louder, I simply stood up and he was in the pram and just began to walk around with him until he eventually calmed down, then once he had stopped I took him out of the pram and cuddled him until he was ready to go back.

For me this felt like a massive win but i still have so much to learn and grow as a parent. But there is no such thing as a perfect parent or a perfect child and I’ll take these small wins anyday.

I would love to here your stories.

Not just a regular mum 💌

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