Can’t believe our baby girl is already a week old, I can’t believe a week ago I was leaving the hospital and taking our fresh baby home to meet her big brother.
So much has happened this week I don’t even know where to begin so I’ve decided to break this up into three parts.
How mumma bear is coping?
This one is a hard one for me to answer right now as I don’t really know how I’m feeling.. some days I’m on top of the world and got the hang of parenting two children and other days I’m a bag full of miss matched emotions… not going to like no one really prepares you for the going home stage, the stage where you now have a two year old and a newborn and your on your own no help from midwifes or doctors and that shit is scary. My first night home I think I just cried & cried… actually i think most of week one was spent crying.
Of course when I fell pregnant we didn’t have this whole #COVID 19 stuff to deal with… now that we do here’s where my world is at, I have a two year old at home with me 24/7 plus a newborn all well the hubby is still working full time, our rules are slowly changing and we can now leave the house to go for walks or a drive etc.. So this will help me out big time in the next coming weeks but still in a normal world my busy toddler would be going to daycare but instead I’m planning activities, trying to keep the house a float, breastfeed a newborn and try and shower and find time for myself.. So yes i think my emotions are semi normal.
I might get a lot of heat for saying this, but I don’t enjoy breastfeeding well at least for the moment I don’t find it enjoyable at all… women who say it comes naturally and you just pick up the cues etc…. please tell me what I’m doing wrong because she spends half her nights on my boob and not wanting to sleep or be more them 2cm away from myself or my boobs.. my boobs are sore, it doesn’t feel natural to me and I honestly don’t know how much longer I will continue breastfeeding for.. I’m trying to see if my body and baby girl togther if we naturally get the hang of it soon as yes I know it’s only been a week, but I’m doing this for her not me, if it was up to just myself I would be formula feeding her already as I think fed is best no matter how our children are fed. But she loves my boobs and this bonding time togther so I continue for her happiness &wellbeing.
How my toddler is coping with change.
There’s so much changing in my little man’s life right now it scares me, he’s no longer at daycare and around his friends and teachers a environment he’s been raised in since he was five months old, and for how long we are at home togther is still so unclear and the unknown scares me just as much as I’m sure it scares him, plus we have the added new family member that any child gets a little funny when a new sibling is added into into the mix, so yes I would say Lorenzo is coping but only by how he knows how. I’m trying to balance my time and spend one on one time with Lorenzo as much as I can right now and make sure he still feels loved and not left out but it is hard. I’ve bought a whole heap of craft activities to keep us both busy at home togther.
But I will say he does have his moment, his sweet moments of kisses and cuddles and wanting to hold his “baby” so I know he will soon come around and life will feel normal for him soon.
I’m hoping the weeks begin to ease, things begin to settle and life becomes some what normal.. which I know normal will never be the same again but a normal routine would be nice.